S.M.

I would like to know how people in my psych class get everyone's email addresses. Because I keep receiving messages like this:
Hello fellow classmates,
I kind of sort of didn't go to class except for a few - does anyone have notes that
they can send me? I would be very grateful. Thank you guys, good luck with
studying!!! =)

oh?

this calls for a face.
=/

Can anyone seriously hate life, listening to Josh Groban?? I THINK NOT.

By the looks (and sounds) of it, today is going to be a day worth celebrating.

edit: I plugged in "You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)" into pandora and got this awesomeinspirationalmix of guilty pleasures like David Archuletta and Five For Fighting's "100 Years."

edit2: Oh my God YESSSSS, pandora's now playing "Con te partirò." I love. That song. Seriously, this is the cheesiest/best playlist ever.

edit3: Last one, I swear. "Go the Distance" from Hercules. FIN.

sherylanne, ich habe ihren aufsatz sehr genossen! sie benutzen raffinierte ausdruecke, beziehen sich auf die artikel, aber aeussern auch ihre eigene meinung. sehr gut!

wir alle sind eigentlich kinder, die immer lob brauchen. man ist so einfach wie das.

so i came to the following conclusion today:
life is too short to be introverted

...so what the hell is always stopping me?

"we all believe we can choose our own path from among the many alternatives. but perhaps it's more accurate to say that we make the choice unconsciously" ... "with the breaths we take every day, with the expression in our eyes, with the daily actions we do over and over, we decide as though by instinct"
yoshimoto banana, kitchen

Right now:
Peach champagne,
Rosetta Stone (French)
...good time

Can you believe the size of my family's headphone/microphone? I look like a crazy person.

Mom's watching some Filipino soap, so my earnest attempts at French only add to the cacophony. One second there's the sound of gunshot, sobs, and the word "respeto" over and over, and then there's me yelling "C'EST UN POISSON" or "LE GARÇON NE CONDUIT PAS."

Languages are just too much fun. But whenever I mess around with languages that aren't German or Japanese I inevitably get this guilty feeling of not trying hard enough at my majors. =/ Language ADD.

Mom's done with the tv so it ooks like dad and I are going to try to watch this German movie, The Edukators. I will probably fall asleep.

I have just realized that this time two years ago I was grumpily writing an essay to get into Rutgers. Hm!

So this fine Thanksgiving day I still feel like I'm approaching sick territory, what with the congestion and sore throat. But I am at least thankful (don't judge me for that) to not have woken up this morning feeling five thousand times worse (Is that not indicative of flu? Rapid onslaught of more severe symptoms?). Maybe I won't get the flu. Maybe I will just get a cold. Aha! That's what I'll do. It's settled.

So my kicks came in the yesterday! What kicks, say ye? The Nike Blazers I was coveting back in July, with the green laces and woven bamboo side panels. I happened to find them on ebay, bid the minimum bid of $9.99 and no more, and woke up the next morning a winner. Ebay is so fantastic, $26 total for a new pair of Blazers? Hullo, that's less than the amount I made testing salad dressings for the food science people. Speaking of, you can imagine my outrage when I heard there was a chips and salsa taste study!!!! The hell! That is only one of my most beloved snacks. To think I could have gotten paid to nosh on deliciousness, when instead I consumed cup after cup of dressing.

Well, it's been fun touching base, now I fully intend to read my Teen Vogue, look at more sneakers online (my mom thinks I have a problem, haha), etc. Will think about productivity tomorrow.

my balogna has a first name, it's I-D-O-N-T-W-A-N-T-T-O-G-E-T-S-I-C-K

very chill weekend with the fam :) it's nice! if mom were here i'd probably just go out shopping with her, seeing little of the bruder/vatti, so i give the change of pace two thumbs up.

the dudes are all about watching movies so last night it was clerks, today the bourne identity. totes recognized the chick who macks on matt damon (you gotta envy that in a person) as the german lady who was in this season's premiere of house. funny, though, i just looked her up and she was also lola in run lola run (aka lola rennt) and i've totally seen... well, about a fourth of that movie. downloaded it but haven't quite gotten around to watching it all. and, irrelevent though this point may be, she dated elijah wood (or so wikipedia says). a) eli wood is straight? are we sure about this? b) she's about 7 years his senior, which is intriguing, c) i can't believe that someone can make out with house and mr. frodo baggins himself in a single lifetime. what a fascinating life this 'franka potente' woman leads.

so anyways



this picture doesn't sit right with me. actually, there were pictures of matt damon in whatever movie this is, in which the extra poundage and overall not-smokin-ness were even more apparent. but yeah, it's just a smidge alarming to think that a guy could be voted sexiest man alive one year and willingly make himself look like ned flanders the next. right? shouldn't that be an impossibility? i have to wonder now if the next hopeless-looking dude the 80s may have misplaced could really be a matt damon in disguise. stacy and clinton of what not to wear just need to start working faster to beautify society and hopefully unleash more boyishly handsome men into the world (and we could always use more of those).

anyways, i re-learned how to knit today so hollaaaa. knit knit purl purl, repeat, and check it out playa, you got some ribbed stitching. gonna make mom a scarf for her birthday. hopefully. that's the plan!

eek, it's nearly 3 am. i fail.

it is always good to remember the times you succeeded and felt good about yourself... to remember that at some point in time someone thought you did an awesome job. the stresses of college rain hell upon us time and again, making it easy to forget just how capable we are (zum beispiel, every time i have to write a paper i panic as though i've never written a successful paper before in my life). but that's utter nonsense. AS MUFASA WOULD SAY... REMEMBER!

on my first aufsatz this semester (frau prakash):
sehr schoen geschriben, sherylanne! stilistich ist ihr aufsatz auch interessant zu lesen. sie verwenden komplexe saetze, themenrelevantes vokabular und auch viele redewendungen/ausdruecke, die ihnen text spannend machen!

yeahhh it's the weekend (basically)!

and i deserve to celebrate. it was a good week--beasted my german essay, beasted my japanese women writers paper, and (fingers crossed) hopefully did well on that math exam. i felt as though i did? so how off the mark could my instincts be? if i could get that back tomorrow that'd be great.

i'm thinking maybe next semester i'll take 20 credits. it's better i just do that... rather than take 17 credits, tell myself i'll get a job, and then not follow through. time i start challenging myself, yeesh!

ooh and rutgers filipino club 'halo-halloween' event is saturday, i'll be back at rut in time for that. hope it's a blasty-blast. not sure if i want to dress in costume, hah.

I remember seeing a shirt that said "Consciousness: that annoying time between naps." Well, similarly, I'm feeling like my weekdays are just "that annoying time between weekends." Weekdays: Class, homework, exams, papers, the pesky task of finding food, trying to get enough sleep. Now doesn't that all pale in comparison to this past weekend, spent making friendssss with Elaine's friends? Bwahaha Paul changed his profile picture to a picture of Jackie sitting on his lap. Of course I am teasing her relentlessly.

This here weekend will be a little different, haha: I'm headed home to see my lovely madre before she ventures off to the Philippines (for grandma and grandpa's 80th birthday extravaganzaaa). I really haven't seen much of my family since school started. Saddens me! Wonder how bored dad and JR will be for those two weeks. And how very dangerous it is for them to be left to their own devices.

Hmm, well, I hate to put off writing in my journal (it inevitably leads to me... not writing in my journal) but I do have this discussion sheet to write, not to mention an unfortunate math exam to contend with. My first exam of the year, haha, so I'm mildly alarmed. I have no German midterm, by the way. Sweet friggin deal, right? But yeah, have to study tonight, urghh.

On the plus side: one day of classes down (actually Leyton never showed up for psych!), four to go.

last night had dream with jon hamm in it. that man is a freaking stud muffin, ok? note to self: remember to go on a long rant about his studmuffinliness as soon as i have a spare mo. (i know i'm trying to steer away from abbreviation but i love 'mo' for moment)

anyway, the sad part is jon hamm did not seem thrilled to be in my dream. probably because i was flipping my shit going "it's jon hamm! ahhh!"  

loved him in 30 rock. ((shit, i'm ranting already.)) his introduction: "Hi, I'm Drew. Sorry I smell like frosting... I just love to bake" bahaha. perfection.

alright well i'm actually writing a last minute paper, so... =]

intro to graduation speech, idea #1:
"why it feels like just yesterday we were all crankin that soulja boy..."

so today i have:
not showered
not exercised
completed some japanese homework
bullshitted on facebook for far too long

yo i think i have math homework due tomorrow. not even sure. is that class four? wait, three?

a) word on the street is that half the mabel's staff did not return this year. so the current employees are pulling long shifts (ahaha, accidentally typed 'shits' the first time around) in the meantime. will most certainly inquire about a job there, which would be highly convenient and, i'm sure, easy as pie.
b) have been wanting to do community service. went to getinvolved(!) website and found the Big Buddy program, so i'm going to the general meeting on wednesday. how cute and fun would that be? hang out with an elementary school kid for three hours a week while they're in class (if they're in art class, you're drawing alongside them, etc.)? i loov it.

anyhow, weekend's finally over, kids! good? bad?

oh, right. packing.

i'm trying really hard to pack substantially less than last year. i always felt like there was too much stuff in my room (especially piled up in the closet) and it was--in hippie terms--negatively affecting my psyche, man. clutter, disorganization, bad stuff. so now every item, before being placed in a box or crate, is carefully scrutinized. like with books: will i really read this? 

a year ago i had a tendency to love my possessions a little too much. the little trinkets i've collected, certain precious books and foreign fashion magazines were things that felt like extensions of me, and i loved to look at them. but i think i've improved some, started to slowly back away from the "i own, therefore i am" mentality. it was surprisingly easy for me to select just 3 magazines to pack. a single japanese one, and elle/elle beauty & health hong kong, purchased in NYC's chinatown.

but i got so distracted while packing last night. i decided i was in great need of a necklace holder so that all my thin chain necklaces don't get all obnoxiously tangled with one another (yes, this was urgent). ransacking the basement for holder-making material resulted in the discovery of a somewhat rusty holder for mugs. holder is such a weird word, the more i look at it. anyway, i painted it white and now it looks mah-velous, like it was made to hold my jewelry. craft night continued when i took out the egyptian hieroglyphic charms from michigan's museum. some black string, black beads, et voila! a necklace. i wanted to spell shan with the charms they were all out of vowels. hah, i would've liked to buy a vowel.

wheel of fortune jokes aren't ever funny. okay. i am getting all distracted again. no bueno. no bueno at all.
 

hate getting any song stuck in my head. do i really need beyonce's "halo" playing on repeat up there? my dad's saying it helps if he listens to the song the whole way through. uhh, okay, we'll see.

hahaha i have to share this little tale. background info: the place is ann arbor, MI, home of university of michigan. hip college town with urban outfitters nearby and tart frozen yogurt!!! "swirlberry" was the name of the place, because every tart fro-yo place imitates pinkberry in name and pink swirl logo. oh my goodness i need some now. oh! and they had an awesome tiny movie theater too. like princeton. is every other town better than new brunswick??

well, we were at this quaint farmer's market and behind one of the fruit/veggie stands was this guy, maybe a bit younger than me. pretty cute, but more importantly, wearing a button-down with the sleeves rolled up, suspenders, and i do believe a straw hat as well. it was stupefyingly adorable, even if you don't have a gigantic weakness for suspenders. well, i was so enamored with this kid's great taste that i was tempted to covertly snap a picture! i might have gone through with that plan, if not for this girl joining his side moments later, wearing a long skirt and bonnet. because they were amish.

i should have seen that coming, right? vegetable stand, dude. hahaha, i was just embarrassed for myself (inner voice: "oh my god, it's their lifestyle") even though i, thankfully, hadn't gone up to him and said something like "sweet suspenders, man." ...but then i thought how hilarious it'd be if instead i slipped him my number and told him, "hit me up during rumspringa."

it makes me a little sad that married amish men have to grow out those beards. as i said, he was so cute! and, as i love to say, no one looks good with facial hair, with exception of robert downey jr. and some say johnny depp, but i actually don't care much for his looks.

aaand, yet another fascinating moment for me during my michigan trip was when i dreamed of the character zack morris from saved by the bell. i haven't even seen an episode in years, plus i wasn't a huge follower. slightly before my time. though i did regularly watch lots of shows that were before my time, thanks to nick at nite. don't try to quiz me on this shit now, but i'm pretty sure i saw every episode of the brady bunch. and i loved bewitched and i love lucy. the jeffersons, i dream of genie, happy days, the facts of life, etc. were also watched occasionally.

anyway, saved by the bell? it was a pretty weird dream. but it makes sense because not long ago i was looking at, and very much wanting, a t-shirt with this design:



now i want it more than ever, haha. so like, if i was a teen in the early 90s i'd probs have a crush mark-paul gosselaar. there's no shame in that... i guess.

i was a bit too young for crushes at the time, but i remember thinking the kid from the movies capser and little giants (i watched both quite a lot. absolutely fabulous cinematic works, i tell you) was cute. he'd pop up on the screen and i'd be like "...what is this feeling?" (on a related note, my first crush on a classmate was 3rd grade, and extended to 5th. yay, memories! but i'm not divulging who, haha. i'll just say that it was a delight that one time he was told to walk me down to the nurse because i wasn't feeling well, and then asked me kindly if i was alright). anyway, this was the actor, opposite christina ricci (the only actress i'm ever told i resemble). pretty cute, i think. in my heart of hearts i'm just a huge sucker for blondes. ex: westley. princess bride. always.



still fascinates me, the christina ricci thing. a couple weeks ago i was at my mom's friend's get-together and some lady i'd just met (greek woman with jet-black hair, amazing skin for someone 55, crazy eyes. she ranted about what how politics is such bullshit. loved her.) was like "did anyone ever tell you you look like christina ricci?" sometimes i see it, sometimes i really don't. hah, well, as far as comparisons go, i could do worse. i could do better, but i could definitely do worse. like, i pity the woman out there who's been told she looks like fergie-ferg. post-bad plastic surgery.

of course it's 1:16 in the morning and i'm entertaining myself with this height predictor -http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/usefultools/l/bl_height_pred.htm

ahah. yeah. boredom has made me do stranger things. so the thing was spot on for my height, which makes me feel a little better about being a midge. maybe if i slept more in my youth, ate more balanced meals, etc. i'd have made it to that crucial 5' mark, but whatever, it's over with. i thought it'd be fun, too, to see what kind of height my future (and not likely to ever exist, let's be serious) chillins would get, depending on who knocked me up, bahah.

according to the all-knowing calculator, if i had a lovechild with conan o'brien (6'4'') for example, my our daughter, haha, would still only clock in at around 5'5''. unless she drinks lots of milk. then gosh, anything can happen. oh and my son would be 5'10''ish. fun times... uh, ok, maybe it's bad to use dudes who are married as examples (that rules out my loves paul rudd and james marsden, sadly). in that case substitute conan for jason segel, who is apparently also a giant.

mr. calculator is also telling me to avoid midge-guys who are shorter than 5'4'', cause then my daughter will actually be shorter than me. and that's just pathetic, people. for the record, i would very much love to marry someone who is of average/above-average height, even though it'd be so much easier to snag someone who's also short. why's that? easy--even in these supposedly forward-thinking times one seldom sees a couple in which the gal is taller. so yeah, short dudes are screwed. they can't easily score the statuesque models and ...will settle for me. haaaha, or something like that. it's kind of sad, really.

the only thing that gives me comfort is the awesome marriage that is will and jada pinkett smith. she's no more than an inch taller than me, yet married will (and who doesn't love will smith??), who is an inch or two over 6'. i love it. you go girrrl.

a couple nights ago i entertained myself not by calculating heights but by musing upon the idea of falling in love with someone who looks like you. let me explain that one. ever see a couple that looks eerily, um, like they could be related? i was wondering what was up with that. it's freaky. i did find a couple of sites supporting the theory that sometimes we seek mates with similar physical characteristics. like maybe jackie's a sucker for blue-eyed guys since she herself has blue eyes. who knows? 

well, the reason i thought of this topic in the first place was because i found a photo of demetri martin and his girlfriend. intuition (or common sense) already told me that slender, cutiepie demetri martin's girlfriend would have to be brunette. and also slender and adorable. well duh i was right.



but they also kind of look like cousins. ahaha. i mean, i guess that's okay? distant cousins, maybe?

I want to be more organized, smarter, a girl who's read all the classics, multilingual, thoughtful, determined, kind to others. But I keep postponing any effort. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

Und der Morgen kommt nie.

I feel compelled to read my diaries (for me "journal", which is less embarrassing to say, seems to betray the intimacy involved) from middle school or early high school. And, better yet, find even older ones from my childhood. I think those relics are in the basement? Like the very typical Lisa Frank one, colorful and outfitted with a lock. Wow, I remember my brother losing the key and me chasing him about the house, giving him hell for it.

Keeping diaries is the best idea ever, it's giving your future self a gift. (Which reminds me [!] that I need to make myself a time capsule. In fact, shit, why didn't I do that years ago?) The fact of the matter is, the person I am now is so far removed from who I was at 10 or 15, or even one year ago. In a lifetime you don't just live one life. All these different people will inhabit this one body you're in. It's just compelling, and scary, to read the words of a former you. Because sometimes you can time travel, remember exactly what that day in time felt like. But sometimes it feels just as distant as reading a novel.

I hope I write constantly, the rest of my life. And I hope that a hundred years (or more!) after I die, somebody will treasure the thoughts I left behind. I'm not asking for some Anne Frank-type mark to be left on the world, just one person, maybe, some descendent of mine who will care. "Great-great-grandma was seriously weird" he or she might say, and then take comfort in the fact that though society of a century ago--with its technologies and unique paradigm--was vastly different, mankind is still, by and large, the same.

I mean, if I had a diary kept by my great-great-grandmother available to me that would just be ultra magnifique. So, future generations, if you're reading this, be friggin' THANKFUL for this piece of the past, and please do the right thing and pay it forward. Keep a journal! Love, your crazy-ass great-great-whatever.

Dudes, I don't want to go back home. Michigan, will you let me be that obnoxious houseguest that ignores the unsubtle hints to leave?